Guiltless Pleasures: Baywatch

Sometimes you just want to be entertained. You don't want Al Gore making you feel like shit for that time you threw an empty bottle of Fanta in with the normal rubbish (though I do feel guilty Al, I'm really, really sorry). Jean-Luc Godard? Terrence Malick? Well, they can f**k right off too.

At times though, that mentality can find you liking films you probably shouldn't. As far as I'm concerned though, guilt can go hang.

The Partially Educated Review

There was a time when adaptations of cheesy TV series were pretty much destined to be rubbish. Charlie's Angels and The Dukes Of Hazzard both yielded films which were less fun than a trip to a festival Portaloo and, while there have been exceptions, the over-arching problem of what worked then not working now was apparently lost on Hollywood. A surprising prospect, I know. Then, this happened...

...and the rulebook was rewritten somewhat. Then ignored. Yes, the Jump Street films were a lot of fun (and arguably Starsky And Hutch got there first), but since then we've had Chips, which was packed the exact same amount of laughs as you would get from inhaling armpit odour. The chances of something like Baywatch being any good are still slim. Guess what?

Is lukewarm too kind to describe the reaction to it? Possibly. Couple that with the fact that my mate who likes crap films likes it (he knows who he is) and things weren't boding well for my opinion of this. Yet there I sat, laughing consistently. Perhaps low expectations helped me with that, thought I. So I watched it again a couple of months later... and laughed even more. Honestly, I couldn't help it. I'm still slightly worried about it.

We're in juvenile territory with the humour here. Case in point: “There's your cot. Don't jack off on my sheets.” And no, that's not one of the lines I laughed at. It knows it's childish though and it isn't pretending to be anything else. This film just wants you to have a good time with it. If you're expecting more than that... I mean, really? It's based on a series that involves this guy.

Whilst we're on that subject, it is the only film where my rule of deducting one point for a Hasselhoff appearance doesn't apply. It's not like they had a choice.

Going into details about Baywatch involves spoiling the jokes which would be rather pointless. It probably goes without saying that a lot of people won't like it half as much as me, so for the sake of balanced criticism, I will say that Zac Efron is bloody awful in it. The guy is meant to be charming, not an arrogant airhead. He only just got away with it in Bad Neighbours. Let's move on from this phase of his career. 

Also, the action is fairly rudimentary with some of the dodgiest looking fire effects this side of the 50s. The film is flat out stolen by Dwayne Johnson though who oozes self-effacing charisma. Who'd have thought that 15 years later The Scorpion King would become one of Hollywood's most viable box office draws?

Oh my God! Vince McMahon was right about something!

SEVEN out of 10