Partial Education's 1st Ever Fight Night
Washington VS Mills
Featuring Partially Educated Reviews of
Unstoppable
Safe House
Flight
2 Guns
and The Equalizer
Something really weird happened to me not so long ago, as the name Denzel Washington proved itself capable of producing a groan of disapproval from someone who, up until that point, I had considered a close friend. Naturally, it threw me that someone bore such a strong dislike of the man and his work, since he's generally accepted as a bit of a modern great. Then, something even weirder happened because when I was trying to fight his case, I found myself struggling. Let's be honest, the man has been starring in a lot of films which feel like he's coasting. So, here's the question. Are Denzel Washington films still worth checking out? I'm going to review his five most recent films, putting him up against my friend, who will go by the super-secretive-definitely-not-her-last-name code name: Mills. For every good film, Washington gets a point. For every bad one, Mills gets a point. Just to note, I legitimately do not know who is going to win at this point, as I have yet to see three of the five films listed here.
Round One
The teaming of Washington and regular director Tony Scott would probably be thought of as a great one, if it weren't for the fact that some of their collaborations were a bit lacking (The Taking Of Pelham 123 trod that fine line between average and shit). Gratefully then, their final partnership (and Scott's final film outright) is one of the better ones. It's as simple a concept as they come: two "ordinary" blokes (inverted commas used because one's Washington and the other's Captain Kirk 2.0) find themselves as the only people who may be able to stop an unmanned speeding train before it wreaks high devastation on their hometown. What makes this film work is how unapologetic it is. Going for adrenaline porn of the highest order, Scott somehow keeps the tension and excitement running, regardless of the fact that the plot and ending are all just as linear as the tracks that carry the train. Washington and Kirk 2.0 work well as a team together, though this is mostly down to Washington's easy chemistry and cheeky grin (Mills, be under no illusion, you've lost this one). It's all about the endgame though and the film really kicks in once they're train chasing. Scott spends a lot of time setting up the train as the mother of all monsters, giving us a roid-raging Thomas the Tank Engine and sound design laced with more inappropriate roaring than Bruce the Shark (Jaws IV, not Nemo). Unstoppable sets itself out as no more than fun, meaning that if you're the sort of person who only watches films directed by men wearing trilbies, you will despise it with every fibre of your being. Good for me then, that I hate trilbies.
FOUR out of five
Washington 1-0 Mills
Round Two
Safe House was off to a losing battle from the moment the poster arrived. Why? Because I initially mistook Ryan Reynolds for Guy Pearce. I'm not sure why, because Ryan Reynolds looks bugger all like Guy Pearce, but it was a mistake I made and the realisation of the truth was a fairly crushing blow. If the teaming of Washington and Pearce felt like awaiting a Sunday roast, the teaming of Washington and Reynolds (I've only ever liked him in Buried) felt like awaiting a warm mug of arsenic. So I never bothered watching it until now. Washington actually shakes things up a little bit by going for the bad boy role (though Training Day it isn't). As Tobin Frost, an ex-CIA operative gone dodge, Washington ends up on the wrong end of a manhunt and finds himself in the not-so-safe house presided over by "housekeeper" Matt Weston (Reynolds). When the safe house is inevitably broken into, Reynolds is forced to flee with Frost in search of another safe house, whilst everyone appears to be trying to kill Frost and, as a result, Weston too. From there on, everything gets twisty and turny in an oh-so-predictable way. You can see the character arc for Frost from miles away and another big twist involving a supporting character is also pretty well telegraphed. This makes Safe House hard to enjoy at times, particularly when the film resorts to telling us everything that we've already worked out. On the flip side of this, there are some good to excellent action sequences. These are fast, frenetic and (in the true nature of alliteration) fun. They're also brutal, not because of any visual cheap shots, but mostly because of some of the best fight scene sound I can think of. Every shot sounds meaty and impactful, meaning that though you don't feel the hit, you certainly don't envy the recipient. These action scenes are, at times, so good that they do elevate what is mostly a fairly average film. Safe House is not, by any means, a film that deserves to be anywhere near the top of your priorities list, but as background entertainment (as in watch the action and have something else to do when they're talking), it's good enough.
THREE out of five
It's a real middle-of-the-road three though, so…
Washington 1-1 Mills
Round Three
It is notable that in the 12 years since his Oscar win for Training Day, Washington received no more nominations until Flight. That's not always an indication of lack of quality in someone's work, but Washington has always seemed like an actor that the Academy like to recognise and the more pedestrian roles he'd been taking never really gave them much reason to do that. With Flight, he re-establishes himself. As hero pilot Whip Whittaker, Washington shows us a confident persona combining with a descent into life as a mostly functioning alcoholic. After he manages to land a diving plane with far less casualties than there should have been, Whittaker is declared a hero, but also faces investigation after his blood tests positive for alcohol. The thing to be clear on is that Whittaker is not necessarily a nice man. He can be arrogant, rude, deluded and is even willing to attempt some pretty nasty manipulations at times. All this means is that there is no guarantee that you will come out of Flight with warm-hearted feelings towards him. The thing that makes all this acceptable is that it is Washington's most human performance in quite some time. OK, so he's not been straying into full-on superhero mode, but there's regularly been something larger than life about his characters and the only reason that some of Whittaker feels this way is because it is mostly a facade. It's a performance so good that it dominates the film and this makes it a good thing that he's rarely not in a scene. With the notable exception of the fantastic plane crash scene, things sometimes stutter elsewhere. Kelly Reilly plays a fellow drug addict that Whittaker comes to bond with, but still doesn't feel hugely important to the film. Her performance is fine, but with Washington dancing circles around her, she's not the most memorable thing (I've seen the film twice now and can only roughly remember what happens to her character). There's also an overabundance of underused characters, with the likes of Melissa Leo and James Badge Dale not getting as much screen time as they perhaps deserved. That's not the same for everyone, as Don Cheadle, John Goodman and Bruce Greenwood get their moments. However, this is a Washington vehicle through and through and that's fine because it is, by far, the best performance Washington has given in a long time. I'd even suggest it's better than the two he did win Oscars for.
FOUR out of five
Washington 2-1 Mills
Round Four
So, that conversation which elicited the groan was actually because I said I wanted to see 2 Guns. I really wanted to see it, not because it ever looked good to begin with, but as an act of faith. The previous teaming of Baltasar Kormรกkur and Mark Wahlberg led to Contraband. This was another film that looked awful, but surprised me with just how much I enjoyed it. 2 Guns had that similar feeling about it and that made it even more disappointing when it turned out to be pretty average. Wahlberg and Washington both play undercover cops, trying to infiltrate a drug gang without either knowing their partner's true allegiance. When the big "YOU'RE A COP!?" revelation happens, it also unearths an endless supply of bad guys, all of whom are now baying for their blood. That's the first problem. There are far too many villains here, particularly when you consider that Bill Paxton is one of the few entertaining things in the film. Whenever you're with a bad guy who isn't Paxton, you're wishing you were with him, not necessarily because the performances are awful, but because the characters are so deflatingly bland. As the cop duo, Wahlberg and Washington are just about fine. They even get some laughs from time to time, but the ever-growing list of cop duos doesn't have them anywhere close to the top of it. This all means that nothing is there to compensate for the deficiencies as the action is also fairly bog standard, recycling the same old scenarios you've seen done a whole lot better before. The worst thing about 2 Guns is that it's just… there. There's nothing truly awful about it, in the exact same way that there's nothing hugely memorable about it (again, Paxton comes close, but he's underused). It's all a bit like paint by numbers. You know where it's going. You don't know why you're bothering to stick around and, by the end of, you can't help but feel like you've wasted a good 2 hours of your life.
TWO out of five
Washington 2-2 Mills
Round Five
The Equalizer is truly one of the most immersive experiences I have ever had in film. As I watched the film reveal it's pre-occupation with death and the numerous nasty ways in which this can be bestowed upon people, I engaged with it, failing to realise that death was exactly what was befalling my brain cells. Washington plays an everyman in the same way that he usually plays an everyman, by slowly revealing that he happens to be a badass. By day, he works in a DIY (sorry, hardware) store, by night he engages in his own brand of karmic realignment, taking out horrible people in horrible ways. Before you even get the slightest chance to suggest that this will all lead to the good old "is vigilantism right?" argument, the prevailing levels of dumb mean that there is no way that one's going to fly. Yet, despite better judgment and any preconceived notions of quality, The Equalizer can, at times, be a lot of fun. The main story involves Washington's Bob McCall finding himself against the Russian mob, when he steps up to defend a young prostitute (Chloe Grace Moretz in a mercifully short role, Jodie Foster can rest easy) and takes out several mobsters in the process. This leads to a cold, merciless enforcer named Teddy (Marton Csokas and no, that name is not a joke) being sent in to oversee the revenge process. Things start poorly, as the whole things takes forever to get going, but when Csokas arrives, it all gets a lot more twisted and weirdly fun, with the ridiculous name being ignorable on the basis of just how fantastic Csokas is in the role; it's a caricature, but he makes it his own. The ultimate complement that could be paid to him is that he manages to overshadow Washington and, while I'm sure the filmmaker's didn't intend for that to happen, he frequently does, helping to compensate for the film's inescapably predictable denouement. Sadly, when that arrives it's less fun, with a final battle that, much like the film, is hugely overlong. It also squanders an opportunity, as both McCall and Teddy have been set up as lethal weapons, but don't actually spend all that long in a one-on-one situation. Then, just when you think the film's going to end, it all goes a bit Return Of The King and adds on some unnecessary and slightly tawdry scenes that leave the whole thing feeling a bit damp. The Equalizer is flawed (and then some), but I'd be lying if I didn't say I had some fun. The score isn't debatable for me…
THREE out of five
…What is debatable is who wins out of Washington and Mills, given the down the middle three. There's three options for me here.
1. Wuss out and call it a tie.
2. Acknowledge that a lack of a FIVE out of five is notable and give the win to Mills.
3. Purposefully give the win to Denzel, with the main reason being that it will wind up a friend.
…
WASHINGTON WINS!!!!!!!!!
Next Time (30th October)
Oh Danny BOOOOYLE!
(Yeah, I went there!)
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