The Top 10 Best Films So Far

Partial Education Presents

The Top 10 Best Films So Far

It appears people like me when I'm being mean, as looking back over the past year, it's apparent that my reviews get far more hits when there's a guaranteed kicking headed towards the films in question. As a result, I'm fully expecting that very few of you will bother to read this, but here are the top 10 films of Partial Education so far.

To clarify for those who didn't read last week, only films that I have reviewed are eligible for entry.

Number 10

In truth, there were a number of films that were considered for this spot and I didn't want to take it lightly. Some of the films coming up for review in the next few weeks guarantee this won't be in the list next time around. Though special mention should go to The Borderlands for coming very close, I went for Guardians. While the flaws may be there, it's been a long time since I left a cinema with quite as much of a beaming grin as I did after this. Crafting what is, for my money, the most enjoyable group of (anti)heroes yet seen in comic book films, this is the film that defied all expectations and stands as the second best blockbuster released this year. The reason the other one's not in here is because I haven't reviewed it yet. It's NOT Interstellar.

Number 9

Thank God I gave this film a third attempt because though I've always admired and greatly enjoyed it, it took that third attempt to make me see it's real brilliance. Though Shallow Grave made the names Boyle and McGregor known, Trainspotting made them forces and this is down to the exceptional handling of an always controversial subject matter. There are other films which have managed to take a look at a subject as divisive as drug addiction without falling into over-celebration or blinded condemnation (and one of them will most likely enter this list when it's reviewed). Trainspotting still stands as one of the best though.. If you're someone who doesn't like this film, watch it again and then come back to me.

Number 8

The Avengers proved bigger, but Batman stayed better. Still, for me, the best of Nolan's Batman trilogy, it's a film that's now much easier to take for granted. The easiest thing to remember is that this undid the wrongs of Batman & Robin, but it also came at a time when Nolan wasn't quite as celebrated as he is today. It also gave us Christian Bale as a true star, after a career which had failed to capitalise on the greatness of American Psycho. Batman Begins works in a much simpler way than the two films that followed it and proves itself by doing this without any of the truly huge villains from the Batman canon. X-Men made comic book films viable again, but Batman Begins changed them in a way that we haven't really looked back from since.

Number 7

At a time when the vampire film was about to be neutered, Let The Right One In was there to keep the horror alive in the genre, despite the fact that vampirism is rarely dwelled on in it. It perfectly visualises one of the greatest paradoxical characters in the sweet, yet terrifying Eli, as well as an intelligent look at schoolyard bullying through the misfit eyes of Oskar. Director Tomas Alfredson is the greatest asset though, skilfully creating his horrors from the nasty side of humanity; a far more fearful prospect than the supernatural happenings surrounding it. There's a reason that Let The Right One In is already spoken about as a classic merely 6 years after it's release. It's because it's fairly hard to deny it's right to that title.

Number 6

It's a one-two punch for Robin Williams now, as my current frontrunner for the title 'Best Horror Film of the 21st Century' also provides us with perhaps the greatest casting that the late Williams was ever given. The gem to his performance lies in the manipulation of some of his well-known mannerisms. There's still some recognisable traits there which makes it easy to see why some would warm to him, but accentuates his darker edge when it shows. It's not just Williams that makes One Hour Photo a success though, as director Mark Romanek manages to restrain his music video aesthetics to just the scenes taking place within Parrish's mind. Elsewhere, he provides a natural view, meaning that while One Hour Photo won't terrify you into a sleepless night, it will probably unsettle you through it's plausibility.

Number 5

On the flip-side, this is the Williams everyone fell in love with, as his iconic turn as the Genie immediately etched itself into Disney history. Everything about Aladdin is Disney presented at it's finest, with the film standing for everything that they can do flawlessly (and don't always succeed at). The story is exceptional, the humour expert and the songs serve to lodge themselves into your mind, even if you wish they'd stay the hell out of there. While other great cinema experiences will come and go, Aladdin will forever remain one of my greatest.

Number 4

Of last year's Best Picture nominees for the Oscars, three of them have been reviewed by myself and none of them feature here. Yet, Inside Llewyn Davis does. That's not me trying to be prove my artistic integrity as a critic (I just put Aladdin in here after all), it's because the snubbing of this film was one of the unfairest there's been. Niftily blending a fairly miserable story with music that sucks you in, Inside Llewyn Davis may not leave you buzzing with joy and merriment, but it does provide you with an exceptional look into the single-minded soul of it's title character. This is a film with depth, meaning that the more you watch it, the more you take from it. That's why it's in here over all of American Hustle, Dallas Buyers Club and The Wolf Of Wall Street.

Number 3

Nosferatu is not a film that I would recommend everyone watch. It is a relic from a less-developed age of film that will likely go unappreciated by those who hold little to no interest in the history of film. It is a fantastic indication of just how far film has progressed in the last century, but also proof that without Nosferatu, many of the films loved all around probably wouldn't exist. With Max Schreck stealing the whole film as the still-frightening Count Orlock, Nosferatu is theatrical melodrama brought into the embrace of film and it's legacy is undeniable.

Number 2

You're damn right that says The Muppet Christmas Carol. The first ever film that I would have given a FIVE out of five to and still do today. It's also the only film that you can guarantee I'm going to watch at least once every year. Is it subtle? Nope. Is it deeply commercial? Probably. Is it bloody amazing? I won't hear anyone say otherwise.

Number 1

Sneaking in right at the last moment is (I say it again) Danny Boyle's masterpiece. This is a film that will conjure up statements of "Really?" from a sizeable proportion of people that have seen it. That's absolutely fine, as I can accept that it's a hugely polarising film. For me though, it packs huge ambition into a tight, focussed package, presenting one of the biggest and most relatable quests that has ever been made in the name of science fiction. The fate of humanity is usually assaulted by aliens, but this time it's something that could realistically happen and that makes it a lot more impactful. In truth, Sunshine isn't even in my Top 5 films of all time (it may not even be in my Top 10), but I am perfectly fine giving it that position until such a time as I review anything better.

What next? A small break for a few weeks, but after that I keep going with a bigger focus on getting to some Full Educations. To do this, I'm having to cede some control of what I review, to the point where I will have one mandatory review for every article. It's up to me to try and find a way to integrate that into an article. That's going to be harder for some films than others, but let's see how it goes.

Next Time: December 18th

The Mandatory Review is

The Top 10 Worst Films So Far

Partial Education Presents

The 10 Worst Films So Far

So, next week it is a year since I began Partial Education (minus the 3 months between me creating the blog and getting off my lazy arse to start writing for it). As such, I wanted to mark the occasion and am going to present my Top 10 Best and Top 10 Worst films, using only the films I've reviewed. I'll probably do this annually, though I may do it bi-annually because it's my blog and I'll do what the hell I want with it. The 10 best films will be next week, so here's the 10 worst. I'd like to make it clear that for all of these I'm running on memory and haven't seen any of them since reviewing them because, quite frankly, I'm not into self harm.

Number 10

You can discuss the worst superhero films of all time with many people and I guarantee that Man Of Steel will rarely make an appearance. I can also say that, more often than not, the go to option is Batman And Robin. That's fair enough. I don't want to start arguing with that, but the one thing I'll say in defence of the Bat-Nipple saga is that at least it tried to have a sense of humour (I emphasis the tried). Man Of Steel is one of the most po-faced and self-important films going. With just about every actor using up a career's worth of overworked gravitas, it's left to (of all people) Kevin Costner to become the film's sole highlight. Then, Zack Snyder decides to go for the manly testosterone (because, let's face it, he didn't show us enough in 300) and we get two men repeatedly throwing each other through walls. Man Of Steel isn't the worst superhero film of all time, but it might well be the most boring.

Number 9

You'll see more of Danny Boyle's work in the Top 10, but this really is a stinker of a film, boasting not one, but two irritating pairings. We have the cloyingly irksome scenario of Ewan McGregor and Cameron Diaz presenting us with Patty Hearst: The Rom-Com, whilst also relishing in the squandered potential of Holly Hunter and Delroy Lindo as guardian angels trying to avoid banishment from Heaven. A Life Less Ordinary never feels like a film that has any reason to be made and though it's not the only disappointing film in Boyle's career, it's the worst by several country light years.

Number 8

This is not the first time you will see a Scary Movie film in this list and if you need me to justify why the series gets multiple inclusions, then I can only feel intense jealousy towards you, as you've obviously never watched them. The reason this isn't the worst is that it does hold one really good joke. It's the first one, so you can thank me later when you watch that and turn it off.

Number 7

It's the film title which writes it's own insults and gave us one of the worst of all time in "you have the humour of a marmot". That's not the sole reason for it's inclusion though. No, instead you can add hammy acting (from everyone who isn't Neil Patrick Harris), condescending morality. Throw in the simple fact that you already know the story and aren't presented with one single reason why you should bother to sit through it again and Beastly is, well, pick a word.

Number 6

Turns out I was wrong in my review when I said this was the best reviewed video game adaptation of all time. That honour goes to Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. Think about that for a second. This is a worse film than Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

Number 5

And we're back. The only thing putting this higher than Scary Movie 2 is that this doesn't even have one decent joke. So, what puts my number 4 film even higher?

Number 4

That would be Ashley Tisdale.

Number 3

Is Year One technically a worse film that Scary Movie 5? No. But there's a question that should never need asking when you've got some actual comedic talent involved. Committing that worst sin of putting your best jokes in the trailer, Year One feels like a film that has lied to you, drawing you in under false pretences of a good time. That puts it on the same level as internet predators.

Number 2

2013's most disappointing film was not bad just because it was a shadow of what came before it. It was bad because it destroyed everything that made the original Anchorman so much fun. The best jokes from the original get redone bigger and badder (as in bad bad, not good bad) than they previously were and they completely destroy Steve Carrell's previously fantastic Brick in all but his first gag. There was one thing I forgot to mention in my review and I'm not sure why. Burgundy Jr. must be stopped!

Number 1

See that face above this. It's a face you know. It's a face you may enjoy watching in films if you hold some sort of mental impairment. It is a face that you will see shagging a windscreen during the course of Ridley Scott's opus to sleaze, degradation and just generally being shit. Anyone who read my review will not be in the remotest bit surprised to see this film at the top of the list, as it holds the great honour of being my only ZERO out of five so far. That's not just because it's a bad film. It's because it's a genuinely nasty one that should have never been made by a person locked in the sweet embrace of sanity. No one likes being sick, but even worse is the feeling that you're going to be sick and that feeling isn't too unlike sitting through The Counsellor.

The Top 10 films will be revealed next week, on Wednesday.

The Films Of Danny Boyle - Part 2

Partial Education Presents

The Films of Danny Boyle - Part 2

Featuring Partially Educated Review of

Millions

Sunshine

Slumdog Millionaire

127 Hours

and Trance

Many directors have tried to steer into family friendly territory and quite often this ends very badly for them. It seems an area where the biggest successes are those who make their name within that area of film. This cannot be said of Millions, Danny Boyle's sole family film. Set in an England that is about to convert to the Euro (yeah, that bit doesn't quite work anymore), brothers Damian (Alex Etel) and Anthony (Lewis McGibbon) come across a bag filled with a lot of money (though not millions). After taking the bag home, Anthony goes down the buying things for himself route, while Damian wants to use the money to help the poor. With both keeping it a secret from their father (James Nesbitt), their actions gradually bring them to the attention of the thief that was meant to be taking the money in the first place. The boys have recently lost their mother and, thankfully, this plot strand doesn't give us the usual histrionics. Most of the time it's mentioned when they use her death to blag free sweets. It's a vital element though, as her death is the major dictator of their actions. Where Anthony is trying to fill the void with material goods, Damian's own faith leads him towards Christian values. The first thing to say is that it's refreshing to see a film which actually shows us the positivity that can come from religion. I am not religious and hate getting into debates like this, but the more common and easier approach is to go for the negative anti-religion vibe, often leading to the intolerable argument that all religion creates nothing more than evil acts and excuses for stupid people. I'm not denying there isn't that side, I'm adamant that there's the other side, because I've seen it. The other great thing about the film is that it never feels like it's vilifying Anthony. His actions may not be as kind and generous as Damian's, but he represents the thing that most young boys would do and it never judges him for this, instead looking to understand him. Sadly, the ending loses it a little bit. It's all a bit messy and gets incredibly saccharine at one notable point. It's not a film where you're going to get abject misery and nor should you, but it could have been toned down a bit for my liking. This is forgivable when placed with the rest of the film though. Millions is probably the least known of Boyle's films, but that's far from any indication of it's quality.

FOUR out of five

Millions must have been a complete ventilation of all of Boyle's positivity, because the first thing to be said about Sunshine is that it's every bit as miserable as it is fantastic (and I adore this film). The Sun is dying and a group of astronauts pilot a craft that is carrying a huge bomb that stands as Earth's second and last attempt to give it a kickstart. With their long journey bringing them close to their final destination, we join them at the vital part of their mission, when tensions have burst forth and the stakes are about to reach their highest point. Sunshine has proven to be a hugely polarising film with audiences, so if the idea of someone unleashing a torrent of praise towards it angers you, I suggest you move onto the next review. This, for me, is Boyle's masterpiece. Everything meshes together to create a film which stands with the true pinnacles of sci-fi that also served to inspire it. The quest is a simple, but enormous one and represents a glorious conundrum, as these astronauts fight to save the thing that could destroy them in order to preserve their way of life. The outstanding cinematography and adrenalizing score help to create nearly 2 hours of pure tension, interspersed with brief, but effective, moments of pure beauty. The acting is also top notch without exception, so much so that I feel slightly mean singling anyone out, but I must bring attention to Chris Evans, who stands as the pinnacle in a group of actors demonstrating excellence. Now, there is a change of pace in the second half and this is often the source of people's ire. To say anything about it would be a spoiler, so I won't, but if you watch the film, you will know exactly what I'm talking about. As stakes rise even higher, Boyle throws something in there that pushes them to the absolute limit and brings real peril to the mission. Would it have still worked without that extra something? Probably yes, but I don't feel that it takes anything away from the film. It also leads to an incredibly brave ending that manages to pack the necessary emotional heft without a need to fall back on exploitative sentimentality. Any guesses on the score?

FIVE out of five

I kind of don't get Slumdog Millionaire. Or rather, I don't get why there was all this love and awards thrown at it. It's not that I think it's bad. It's that's I think it's good, rather than fantastic. Dev Patel plays Jamal Malik, who's got himself into a spot of bother after being accused of cheating on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?. The film chronicles Patel's life from childhood through to the present day, showing how he accrued the knowledge that led to his suspicious success on the show. Cleverly enough, the film never actually tells you how far he got, we just know that he's done well. Now, where the film works is in it's depiction of life in a Mumbai slum and the necessary moves that must be made in order to get out of it. The performances from Ayush Mahesh Khedekar as Jamal and Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail as his older brother Salim are some of the finest demonstrations of young acting that I can remember. They even serve to overshadow Patel's performance quite a bit. The film keeps flipping between those scenes and each question on …Millionaire and this becomes a little repetetive from time to time, serving to provide the film with a very episodic feel that doesn't complement it all that well. Despite Anil Kapoor's fantastic performance as the Indian Chris Tarrant, I couldn't help but feel that the game show wasn't necessary. The story of Jamal's life would have been just as interesting without it. By the time we get to the last question that Patel faces, suspense is kind of spoiled. Why? Because we've guessed from an early stage that that will be one of the questions. I'm also willing to bet that the wait between his answer and the revelation of whether or not he's right is spoiled by the fact that most people will know whether he's got it right or not. This all leaves me feeling more negative towards Slumdog… because I went in to watch what was supposed to be one of the best films of 2008 and didn't feel like it was anywhere close to that. Still, ignoring that, and judging the film by itself...

THREE out of five

So, Aron Ralston is now a motivational speaker in America. I'm not 100% sure how this has come to be, as I would have thought his statement of "don't go rock climbing without someone knowing where you are, lest you wind up having to cut your own arm off" could just as easily be filed under the "don't be an idiot" rule. It shouldn't really need saying. Nonetheless, this is what Aron Ralston did and we can at least be grateful that it gave us a very good film. 127 Hours joins the small, but growing group of films which take place predominantly in one location with one trapped actor. The pinnacle of this genre is Buried, in which the torturous idea of spending 90 minutes of the sole company of Ryan Reynolds turned out to be far better than anyone could have ever guessed. 127 Hours is not as good as Buried, but it's close. In a technical sense, it's superior. Boyle isn't pretentious enough to believe that one man trying to get his arm out of a rock is going to hold our attention if it's played out fly-on-the-wall style. So, he's happy to let us delve into Ralston's mind. We see his memories, his dreams and his hallucinations which serve to give us not just a greater awareness of the high stakes, but a story of redemption when Ralston comes to realise the things he has taken for granted in his life. So much hinges on the performance in films like this and James Franco is really great in the role. Much like Reynolds, I'm not always the biggest fan of Franco, but this is some of (if not THE) best work he's ever done. The only reason why 127 Hours doesn't quite hit the heights of Buried lies in something it couldn't really help. You watch this film because, be it through morbid curiosity or a worrying gore fascination, you know you are going to see a man cut his own arm off. As a result, much of the great work is overshadowed by the constant bracing for when the moment finally comes. The moment pays off well, striking that perfect balance between what it does and what it doesn't show you, but it's a shame that, in the end, you spend a whole hour borderline ignoring everything else, in the rightfully agonising wait for the inevitable.

FOUR out of five

I don't think Danny Boyle was ever designed for the 'national treasure' status that he has been given. His incredible modesty and refusal to ever take as much credit as he probably should for his work in the Olympics are two reasons why, but also his films rarely feel designed for the mass embrace of the public. I mean that as high praise, as Boyle is nothing, if not a rebel. As such, Trance represents Boyle keeping that rebellion within him, rather than sitting back and basking in the nation's adulation. In that respect, Trance is refreshing. The film's theme of hypnosis allows Boyle to play around with his tricksy imagery and have a lot of fun doing it. As amnesiac art thief James McAvoy goes under hypnosis treatment to find the piece of art that he has hidden from another thief (Vincent Cassel), we delve into a psyche of broken memories. The first two thirds of the film are intriguing enough. You go with it, knowing that the gear is going to keep getting ramped up until a finale that you hope will bring together an exceptional thriller. McAvoy, Cassel and Rosario Dawson make for three excellent leads and you have every faith that this all going to come together brilliantly. Then the third act arrives. Instead of feeling like it's gone off the rails, it's as though the film has hypnotised you into believing that the rails were ever there to begin with. Trance's ending is so outright bonkers that you just can't buy into it and it deflates the film something rotten. It's not that there's necessarily plot-holes there, but when you're piling twist upon twist upon twist, there comes this point where you just can't logically accept it anymore. Instead of bringing things to an exciting close, it brings it all down to a point where you just feel that you've wasted your time. Trance is not an awful film and there is much to like, but I'd feel guilty recommending it because I know I'd be setting people up for disappointment. That can only be a problem.

TWO out of five

Sadly, this means I have ended my look at Danny Boyle's career so far, on a bit of a low. So, let's make things a bit more positive, shall we?

Next Time (20th November)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PARTIAL EDUCATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Films Of Danny Boyle - Part 1

Partial Education Presents

The Films of Danny Boyle - Part 1

Featuring Partially Educated Reviews of

Shallow Grave

Trainspotting

A Life Less Ordinary

The Beach

and 28 Days Later

I begin with an apology. Sort of. After the review of two weeks ago, involving Denzel Washington, his opponent Mills responded and was none too happy in my portrayal of her. So, in the interests of full disclosure, this was her response: 

'Right, Boothman, *SPOILERS* I realise I'm blowing my 'anonymity', but I think a mountain is being made out of a molehill here. Yes, I groaned - but not because I hate him or think he's a bad actor - on the contrary, I think he's become a bit lazy, stopped living up to his potential and just seems to be going through the motions. I have no problem with the man, just find his films bloody boring! However, will give Flight a go based on your 4/5 as I've not seen it yet, and concede defeat to Mr Washington graciously in this particular fictional battle.'

What about Unstoppable!? I gave that 4/5 too!

This is the part where I come up with some smart arsed reason why I wanted to watch all of Danny Boyle's films. Truthfully though, I just really wanted to watch Sunshine again.

Boyle once said that at every one of his films' premieres, his Dad came up to him and said "well it was good, but it wasn't as good as Shallow Grave". An opinion that I hold no grudge against, but it does perhaps set the bar a little too high when it comes to expectation. This is not Boyle's best film by any means and it's important not to expect that before you watch it. On the other hand, when you consider it's his debut film, it's still pretty bloody good. Flatmates Kerry Fox, Christopher Eccleston and some Scottish bloke called Ewan find themselves in a tricky situation when they discover their new flatmate dead in his bedroom. The natural reaction to call and report the death is put on hold when they also discover a suitcase filled with considerable amounts of money. Proving themselves to be entirely rational human beings, they decide to dispose of the body and keep the money. Naturally, this doesn't all go as smoothly as they expected. It harkens back to a style of film that Boyle hasn't done in a while now, an incredibly black, but mostly successful comedy. The laughs play in unison with an immorality tale in which we, as an audience, may judge these characters, but then have to question if we would handle the situation any differently ourselves. The three leads are all excellent performances, with this being the first part of the one-two punch that made McGregor a star (the second one's the next review). Importantly though, character actions and motivations do feel natural. Whether you agree with them is irrelevant because their actions do befit the characters. Unfortunately though, a slightly overwrought ending does leave things feeling a little too over the top. The morally questionable actions of earlier are replaced by actions that no one in their right mind would ever think to suggest pros for and so it loses some of that element that makes you question yourself. It is a problem that means I'm not giving this a perfect score, but it by no means ruins the film and definitely doesn't prevent this from being a debut that most filmmakers would kill for.

FOUR out of five

Trainspotting is a hugely influential and important part of British cinema. It gave us phenomenal performances, some breakout stars (not just McGregor) and some classic scenes. This most likely isn't news to you and I have no issues with people referring to it as a masterpiece. For me though, it isn't quite there. That said, if the first two thirds of the film were anything to go by, it would be. Taking a view of drug addiction in a way which manages to avoid both celebration or judgment, the film presents us with so many characters that we would naturally despise if we met in person, yet helps us to understand how they have become the way they are. At times, you may even be drawn to sympathise with them, but the film never quite steps over that unacceptable line into celebration. As Trainspotting progresses, it keeps getting better and that masterpiece status does seem entirely justified, all the way up to and including the exceptional "withdrawal" scene, which gives us both Boyle and McGregor at their absolute best. It is the perfect ending to a phenomenal film. Only it's not the ending. Discussing what follows isn't possible without spoiling it for the few who haven't seen this and I don't want to make this sound like the film ends badly. Far from it. It remains very good, but very good pales slightly in comparison to that fantastic scene that came before it. The intentions of the final act are solid and, in providing a complete narrative, it's entirely understandable why the film does continue. For me though, they don't hit that high benchmark that has been set for the rest of the film. Trainspotting is a film that every film fan should see, but I'd by lying if I credited it with perfection.

FOUR out of five

That was my original review of Trainspotting, but then I watched it again and I can safely say that I now fully get the final act. Still not going to discuss it in depth, but it is a vital part to the film's message. I may not enjoy it as much as the earlier scenes, but I have to acknowledge it's importance and, as such, I'm upgrading that score.

FIVE out of five

Coming into these reviews, there were two Danny Boyle films I hadn't seen before. One was Trance, the other was A Life Less Ordinary: a film so irritating that a Keith Lemon marathon would have felt like sweet respite. Bringing an unfortunate close to the Boyle/McGregor partnership (for now at least), this represented a transition for both of them as they made their way into the American market. On the basis of this, it's amazing they're still welcome there. The biggest problem with A Life Less Ordinary is that it manages to take two plots that could have worked, but brings them together in a way that jars rather than blends. The first is the story of McGregor and Cameron Diaz, as the latter is unintentionally kidnapped by the former, after her millionaire father (Ian Holm) fires McGregor. The other story has Holly Hunter and Delroy Lindo as two angels who are tasked with leading McGregor and Diaz into love, under threat of banishment from Heaven if they fail. The latter plot shows more potential, not just because it holds more imagination, but because it is sometimes quite funny. Unfortunately, those "sometimes" are offset (and then some) by the other times, where irksome quirkiness takes hold and both characters feel exceptionally annoying, notably so in the case of Hunter (it really pains me to say that). On the other hand, the McGregor and Diaz partnership is nothing short of terrible. The two demonstrate the same sort of chemistry that you get when you mix donner meat with colitis and, on the very rare occasion when they're on their own, their company remains just as unpleasant. A Life Less Ordinary is a comedy filled with repellent creatures, which wouldn't matter if we were expected to laugh at them, but it reaches a point where we need something to root for and the end credits serve that purpose just fine.

ONE out of five

It seemed as though A Life Less Ordinary didn't really hurt Danny Boyle's standing in America and, though that was a good thing in the long run, this led to The Beach. I first watched The Beach years ago, probably around the time it was released on (wait for it) VHS. I despised it. So did my parents. My sister faced much ridicule for recommending it to us. All this means that the last thing I wanted to do was watch it again, not because I'm averse to giving films second chances (I refer back to the Trainspotting review, which was actually me giving the film a third chance), but because I really didn't want my mind to be changed and force me to admit that my sister was right. I have now re-watched The Beach and can say that my sister definitely wasn't right. In fairness, it wasn't quite as bad as I remembered it, with a strong idea and Boyle's directorial flair helping to make things more tolerable. It's also nowhere near as annoying as A Life Less Ordinary, so I'll give it a bonus point there. It is, however,  heavily marred by a number of things. The biggest is Leonardo DiCaprio, who delivers a solid performance of an egregiously unlikeable character. Riddled with youthful self-entitlement and petulant arrogance, the last thing you want is for DiCaprio's Richard to find the utopian beach that he seeks because frankly, it's the last thing he deserves. Unlike The Wolf Of Wall Street, this isn't an antagonist masquerading himself as a protagonist, this is supposed to be the film's hero (so to speak) and I hold warmer feelings for George Clooney's Batman. The whole plot is telegraphed from fairly early on (once Richard befriends some stoned surfers, it really does give everything away) and this predictability isn't compensated for enough in enjoyable scenes or through Boyle's directorial flair. In the end though, The Beach just doesn't feel that important and has thankfully become a small footnote in Boyle's career. In the long run, you can't say that anyone's career was hurt by this film and so it passes as little more than a minor inconvenience, but that doesn't really excuse it.

TWO out of five

There will be those who will point to Trainspotting. There will also be those who may point to Slumdog Millionaire. For me though, 28 Days Later is the most important film of Boyle's career by quite some distance. It doesn't just represent him coming back from a disappointing couple of films in style. It's also the regaining of reputation that he has managed to (and hopefully will continue to) maintain ever since. The real key to 28 Days Later is it's Britishness. That's a statement that could stray me into UKIP territory, so I'll clarify. The zombie genre wasn't quite as over-saturated in 2002 as it is today, but it was still far from fresh and having something that would separate you from the pack was vital. 28 Days Later has many of those things (it gave birth to fast zombies for one), but the fact that it's a British film is the biggest of those. It instantly provides it with a different tone and a minimalist feel that really does validate the phrase "less is more". You don't get excessive hordes of thousands of zombies here, with the groups being more like a small mob, bringing with them a much more focussed danger. They may even begin to border on scary, though I have never believed in the potential for zombies to truly scare. Naturally, me being British probably helps in the sense of an impact, as the images mean more to me (the empty motorways feel particularly eerie), though an empty London was always going to help with the global market, due to it's recognizability. Now, when a lot of these images go away in the second half, it does make things a little less impactful and wheels out the good old "who are the real monsters?" argument. This doesn't mean that the film starts to fail too much in quality, as it remains excellent, just in a not-quite-as-excellent way as the fantastically unsettling first half. 28 Days Later is an exceptionally good film. I'm only just scratching the surface of what works in it (essays could be written on the brilliant music and Anthony Dod Mantle's exceptional cinematography), but that's the nature of these shorter reviews. Also, I just need to make sure I've saved something for when I get to the Full Educations.

FIVE out of five

Next Time (13th November)

What usually follows a Part 1?

Fight Night: Washington VS Mills

Partial Education's 1st Ever Fight Night

Washington VS Mills

Featuring Partially Educated Reviews of

Unstoppable

Safe House

Flight

2 Guns

and The Equalizer

Something really weird happened to me not so long ago, as the name Denzel Washington proved itself capable of producing a groan of disapproval from someone who, up until that point, I had considered a close friend. Naturally, it threw me that someone bore such a strong dislike of the man and his work, since he's generally accepted as a bit of a modern great. Then, something even weirder happened because when I was trying to fight his case, I found myself struggling. Let's be honest, the man has been starring in a lot of films which feel like he's coasting. So, here's the question. Are Denzel Washington films still worth checking out? I'm going to review his five most recent films, putting him up against my friend, who will go by the super-secretive-definitely-not-her-last-name code name: Mills. For every good film, Washington gets a point. For every bad one, Mills gets a point. Just to note, I legitimately do not know who is going to win at this point, as I have yet to see three of the five films listed here.

Round One

The teaming of Washington and regular director Tony Scott would probably be thought of as a great one, if it weren't for the fact that some of their collaborations were a bit lacking (The Taking Of Pelham 123 trod that fine line between average and shit). Gratefully then, their final partnership (and Scott's final film outright) is one of the better ones. It's as simple a concept as they come: two "ordinary" blokes (inverted commas used because one's Washington and the other's Captain Kirk 2.0) find themselves as the only people who may be able to stop an unmanned speeding train before it wreaks high devastation on their hometown. What makes this film work is how unapologetic it is. Going for adrenaline porn of the highest order, Scott somehow keeps the tension and excitement running, regardless of the fact that the plot and ending are all just as linear as the tracks that carry the train. Washington and Kirk 2.0 work well as a team together, though this is mostly down to Washington's easy chemistry and cheeky grin (Mills, be under no illusion, you've lost this one). It's all about the endgame though and the film really kicks in once they're train chasing. Scott spends a lot of time setting up the train as the mother of all monsters, giving us a roid-raging Thomas the Tank Engine and sound design laced with more inappropriate roaring than Bruce the Shark (Jaws IV, not Nemo). Unstoppable sets itself out as no more than fun, meaning that if you're the sort of person who only watches films directed by men wearing trilbies, you will despise it with every fibre of your being. Good for me then, that I hate trilbies.

FOUR out of five

Washington 1-0 Mills

Round Two

Safe House was off to a losing battle from the moment the poster arrived. Why? Because I initially mistook Ryan Reynolds for Guy Pearce. I'm not sure why, because Ryan Reynolds looks bugger all like Guy Pearce, but it was a mistake I made and the realisation of the truth was a fairly crushing blow. If the teaming of Washington and Pearce felt like awaiting a Sunday roast, the teaming of Washington and Reynolds (I've only ever liked him in Buried) felt like awaiting a warm mug of arsenic. So I never bothered watching it until now. Washington actually shakes things up a little bit by going for the bad boy role (though Training Day it isn't). As Tobin Frost, an ex-CIA operative gone dodge, Washington ends up on the wrong end of a manhunt and finds himself in the not-so-safe house presided over by "housekeeper" Matt Weston (Reynolds). When the safe house is inevitably broken into, Reynolds is forced to flee with Frost in search of another safe house, whilst everyone appears to be trying to kill Frost and, as a result, Weston too. From there on, everything gets twisty and turny in an oh-so-predictable way. You can see the character arc for Frost from miles away and another big twist involving a supporting character is also pretty well telegraphed. This makes Safe House hard to enjoy at times, particularly when the film resorts to telling us everything that we've already worked out. On the flip side of this, there are some good to excellent action sequences. These are fast, frenetic and (in the true nature of alliteration) fun. They're also brutal, not because of any visual cheap shots, but mostly because of some of the best fight scene sound I can think of. Every shot sounds meaty and impactful, meaning that though you don't feel the hit, you certainly don't envy the recipient. These action scenes are, at times, so good that they do elevate what is mostly a fairly average film. Safe House is not, by any means, a film that deserves to be anywhere near the top of your priorities list, but as background entertainment (as in watch the action and have something else to do when they're talking), it's good enough.

THREE out of five

It's a real middle-of-the-road three though, so…

Washington 1-1 Mills

Round Three

It is notable that in the 12 years since his Oscar win for Training Day, Washington received no more nominations until Flight. That's not always an indication of lack of quality in someone's work, but Washington has always seemed like an actor that the Academy like to recognise and the more pedestrian roles he'd been taking never really gave them much reason to do that. With Flight, he re-establishes himself. As hero pilot Whip Whittaker, Washington shows us a confident persona combining with a descent into life as a mostly functioning alcoholic. After he manages to land a diving plane with far less casualties than there should have been, Whittaker is declared a hero, but also faces investigation after his blood tests positive for alcohol. The thing to be clear on is that Whittaker is not necessarily a nice man. He can be arrogant, rude, deluded and is even willing to attempt some pretty nasty manipulations at times. All this means is that there is no guarantee that you will come out of Flight with warm-hearted feelings towards him. The thing that makes all this acceptable is that it is Washington's most human performance in quite some time. OK, so he's not been straying into full-on superhero mode, but there's regularly been something larger than life about his characters and the only reason that some of Whittaker feels this way is because it is mostly a facade. It's a performance so good that it dominates the film and this makes it a good thing that he's rarely not in a scene. With the notable exception of the fantastic plane crash scene, things sometimes stutter elsewhere. Kelly Reilly plays a fellow drug addict that Whittaker comes to bond with, but still doesn't feel hugely important to the film. Her performance is fine, but with Washington dancing circles around her, she's not the most memorable thing (I've seen the film twice now and can only roughly remember what happens to her character). There's also an overabundance of underused characters, with the likes of Melissa Leo and James Badge Dale not getting as much screen time as they perhaps deserved. That's not the same for everyone, as Don Cheadle, John Goodman and Bruce Greenwood get their moments. However, this is a Washington vehicle through and through and that's fine because it is, by far, the best performance Washington has given in a long time. I'd even suggest it's better than the two he did win Oscars for.

FOUR out of five

Washington 2-1 Mills

Round Four

So, that conversation which elicited the groan was actually because I said I wanted to see 2 Guns. I really wanted to see it, not because it ever looked good to begin with, but as an act of faith. The previous teaming of Baltasar Kormákur and Mark Wahlberg led to Contraband. This was another film that looked awful, but surprised me with just how much I enjoyed it. 2 Guns had that similar feeling about it and that made it even more disappointing when it turned out to be pretty average. Wahlberg and Washington both play undercover cops, trying to infiltrate a drug gang without either knowing their partner's true allegiance. When the big "YOU'RE A COP!?" revelation happens, it also unearths an endless supply of bad guys, all of whom are now baying for their blood. That's the first problem. There are far too many villains here, particularly when you consider that Bill Paxton is one of the few entertaining things in the film. Whenever you're with a bad guy who isn't Paxton, you're wishing you were with him, not necessarily because the performances are awful, but because the characters are so deflatingly bland. As the cop duo, Wahlberg and Washington are just about fine. They even get some laughs from time to time, but the ever-growing list of cop duos doesn't have them anywhere close to the top of it. This all means that nothing is there to compensate for the deficiencies as the action is also fairly bog standard, recycling the same old scenarios you've seen done a whole lot better before. The worst thing about 2 Guns is that it's just… there. There's nothing truly awful about it, in the exact same way that there's nothing hugely memorable about it (again, Paxton comes close, but he's underused). It's all a bit like paint by numbers. You know where it's going. You don't know why you're bothering to stick around and, by the end of, you can't help but feel like you've wasted a good 2 hours of your life.

TWO out of five

Washington 2-2 Mills

Round Five

The Equalizer is truly one of the most immersive experiences I have ever had in film. As I watched the film reveal it's pre-occupation with death and the numerous nasty ways in which this can be bestowed upon people, I engaged with it, failing to realise that death was exactly what was befalling my brain cells. Washington plays an everyman in the same way that he usually plays an everyman, by slowly revealing that he happens to be a badass. By day, he works in a DIY (sorry, hardware) store, by night he engages in his own brand of karmic realignment, taking out horrible people in horrible ways. Before you even get the slightest chance to suggest that this will all lead to the good old "is vigilantism right?" argument, the prevailing levels of dumb mean that there is no way that one's going to fly. Yet, despite better judgment and any preconceived notions of quality, The Equalizer can, at times, be a lot of fun. The main story involves Washington's Bob McCall finding himself against the Russian mob, when he steps up to defend a young prostitute (Chloe Grace Moretz in a mercifully short role, Jodie Foster can rest easy) and takes out several mobsters in the process. This leads to a cold, merciless enforcer named Teddy (Marton Csokas and no, that name is not a joke) being sent in to oversee the revenge process. Things start poorly, as the whole things takes forever to get going, but when Csokas arrives, it all gets a lot more twisted and weirdly fun, with the ridiculous name being ignorable on the basis of just how fantastic Csokas is in the role; it's a caricature, but he makes it his own. The ultimate complement that could be paid to him is that he manages to overshadow Washington and, while I'm sure the filmmaker's didn't intend for that to happen, he frequently does, helping to compensate for the film's inescapably predictable denouement. Sadly, when that arrives it's less fun, with a final battle that, much like the film, is hugely overlong. It also squanders an opportunity, as both McCall and Teddy have been set up as lethal weapons, but don't actually spend all that long in a one-on-one situation. Then, just when you think the film's going to end, it all goes a bit Return Of The King and adds on some unnecessary and slightly tawdry scenes that leave the whole thing feeling a bit damp. The Equalizer is flawed (and then some), but I'd be lying if I didn't say I had some fun. The score isn't debatable for me…

THREE out of five

…What is debatable is who wins out of Washington and Mills, given the down the middle three. There's three options for me here.

1. Wuss out and call it a tie.

2. Acknowledge that a lack of a FIVE out of five is notable and give the win to Mills.

3. Purposefully give the win to Denzel, with the main reason being that it will wind up a friend.

…

WASHINGTON WINS!!!!!!!!!

Next Time (30th October)

Oh Danny BOOOOYLE!

(Yeah, I went there!)